ENOUGH…..I AM ENOUGH!

In our world where “Being Enough” is never enough:
Never thin enough, never beautiful enough, never rich enough, never happy enough, never intelligent enough, never fit enough…..
Is there ever any point where you say and feel, I AM ENOUGH?

Is what you see portrayed on social media actually someones real life?

I would say NO. Unless you are very careful about who you follow (stalk) on social media, then 90% of what you are viewing is actually fake (90% is a number I’ve plucked out of my ass). No one is happy and perfect all the time and it is OK to not be either. What is OK, is to be ENOUGH.

As you might have read in last weeks post/blog, I have taken a step away from social media, I have taken inventory of my who I follow, what I post and my interaction with other peoples post. I also, took a long hard look at myself and who I portray myself as.

During this time I realised a number of things:

  1. Life is not sunshine, rainbows 🌈 and unicorns all the time. In fact life sometimes can be a kick in the balls, dirt kicked in your face with a nipple cripple kind of mixed bags of shit. BUT I am tough enough to handle it!
  2. I don’t NEED to post a status on social media for my loved ones to know I am here. They know where I am and that I love them without the Facebook post to prove it.
  3. Our bodies are ALWAYS listening and ALWAYS talking to us, but we need to LISTEN and COMMUNICATE back…… I can hear you, “oh fuck here she goes again, with her hippie bullshit”….Come on, hear me out….. I’m a rich one for “pushing through”, I quite literally “crack on” at the expensive of my health. So I started to heed the warnings of my body, I pulled back and tracked my moods, energy, motivation and determination. What I found was a good pattern of when I am good to hit aspects of my life hard and when retreating into my introverted shell was best and ok. Thanks to this, I’ve managed to stop “crashing and burning”….well mostly.
  4. I am more than a Nutritionist to most….. I have come to realised that I am more of a Search and Rescue crossed with a Guide Dog for the perpetually lost and blind citizens of the food/nutrition/diet world and I AM OK with this. I like to think that being a bit of a straight shooter is a big positive for me.
  5. Avoid the news…. Nothing will affect my mood more quickly than the news report. If you want to stick your head in the proverbial ground like a mutha fuckn ostrich then do it. They say ignorance is bliss and yes it is!
  6. Embrace Routine…. whatever your routine is, if it is working for you and not harming others then go about it, but stick to it. Routine is a series of habits and if those habit are serving your purpose for the better then it is all good in the hood!
  7. Consider your childhood….. going deep here…. Explore childhood memories and ensure you are remembering them correctly. Consider if your childhood has affected your adulthood, if it is negatively affecting your current life then consider seeking help to change that, because nothing will fuck up your next generation more than repeating the wrong doings of your childhood…… just saying.
  8. I like even numbers….. let’s leave it at that.

I realise these are ramblings, but if anything I am writing makes you want to strike up a conversation with me over them, then please comment or contact me.

Kel xo

Getting over my disdain for Social Media

Anti-Social Media

I loathe Social Media, I love seeing my friends posts and I enjoy knowing that they are ok. See my predicament here? I think Social Media is useful, but I hate it all the same.

Roll back to 2007 or 2008 when I first joined Facebook, I recall agonising for days, literally days over my first ever “status update”…… “What will people think of me? Why would I write something about myself? What will I write about myself? Delete that, that is too self involved! Who that fuck wants to know that about me?” Oh how I agonised.

However, I rolled with it, I got good at it, I could spin the best “look at how happy and successful I am” posts. Then as I got older, grumpier, more cynical and a shit tonne more aware, I realised, I loathe status updates, posts and those fuckn positive meme bullshit posts. So I stopped posting, went cold turkey apart from the odd share of something inappropriate, distastefully funny and just plain wrong, man I love those and the friends whom I share them off! ~ Keep keeping on ya’ll!

Anyway, this morning I was getting my contact lenses sorted (thanks Natalie if you’re reading this) and we got talking about Social Media, nutrition and science and it inspired me to write this post. Kind of like writing my thoughts down again.

The conversation made me think about all the information I have acquired over the years regarding nutrition and I realised I need to get this out of my head and into blogs and posts.

So, let the flow of info commence.

Kel x0

PS: I am typing this with my newly fitted contacts and well…..this vision shit is awesome!

LIFE! Welcome to it.

I’ve had a little hiatus from my blog…. I’d like to say I have had a little hiatus from my life, but no.

As I type this, I am currently a good 5kg overweight, at least 10% too much body-fat, my right hip flexor is paining, my left elbow has tennis elbow and I have the biggest pimple in the history of zits on my chin. I am fuck’n fabulous! Hear me roar!

Over the last three weeks, I managed to kill my MacBook Air (like killed it, insurance claim coming up), house expenses were coming out our ears, marriage and parenting has been a game of tagging in and tagging out, as my husband and I have been travelling for work (this is not usual though), all while juggling half term holidays.

So what tale of positivity, light and wonder am I about to tell you?
I am not actually going to mask this with a positive quote.

What I am going to say is this….. When life deals you a blow or two or five, you got to suck it up buttercup and deal with it in your own way. Whether that means you retreat into your shell, you get a little more sweary (no? just me then) or you consume your body weight in pizza. You have to deal with it, in your own way.

One thing that I am solid at is, training. I will keep movement going no matter what is going on in my life. Training really is my lifeline, Kel’s pissed off – lifts heavy shit, Kel’s having an internal panic attack – goes for a run, Kel’s exhausted from waking at 3:00am with the burglar alarm beeping randomly – walks 6 miles to collect something in London instead of taking an Uber.
As I emerge out the other side of this cluster fuck of a shit storm called my life, I realise a number of things that I wasn’t clear on prior to this.
I have a really good kit, full of tools that I can use to get me back into my groove.

My weight will drop back to normal and my body fat will return to its healthy level without too much of an issue. My zit will go away…..eventually, that fucker better. My laptop will be replaced and I will survive solo parenting.

But for now, I am back to blogging/posting/annoying you all.

Kel xo

Something to Consider….

If you know anything about what I do, you’ll know that I am a Nutritionist, so you might think that my focus should be all about food, diets and recipes.

But if you’ve been reading my blogs you will have noticed that I post and write predominantly about mindset, stress and habits.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Will Durant

I recently decided to take a moment to myself and write down all the things I do on a daily basis that contribute to my health, wellbeing and fitness. There were about 8 things I consistently do on a daily basis that are ingrained habits which assist me in achieving overall health and wellbeing e.g I move my body each and everyday; I drink plenty of water and stay hydrated all day long; I sleep a quality 7-8 hours nightly etc etc.

I then wrote down the further things that I need to incorporate each day in order to achieve a higher sense of health and wellbeing. Much to my surprise there was only three items on that list. Three simple acts to focus on.

So what is my point?

How many of you get lost in all the confusion about health, fitness and wellbeing on social media? How many times have you decided on a simple plan of action, then you read or see a post about “this one diet hack changed my body”, “this training move made all the difference”, you then click on the click-bait and next minute you are on a diversion from that simple plan of action you were following 5 minutes ago? You repeat this action enough and you are now miles away from achieving your results of better health, you are frustrated, confused and looking to blame everything and anything.

SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN!

Quiet the noise! Limit your social media! Choose who you follow wisely! Guard your mindset vehemently!
Because at the end of the day, your mindset, stress and habits are the biggest influencer of your health, wellbeing and fitness.

I suggest you make yourself a list too. On the first page write the heading “What I already do GREAT!”, then list all the things you do daily that contribute to a healthy mind, body and lifestyle.
On a second page write the heading, “What I want to add to make things AWESOME!”, then list the main things that you want to add to achieve that higher state of wellbeing.
Then on the third page, write the How.
⚛︎ Keep it simple.
⚛︎ Make it straightforward.
⚛︎ Ensure it is obtainable and actionable.

NOW REPEAT IT DAILY.

Don’t be fooled by “quick fixes”, stay the course. Keep in your own lane!

Kel xo

“Why does Drama always seem to find me?”

Who is a DRAMA magnetic?
TASK CHALLENGE AT THE END OF THIS BLOG – Please read it first.

DRAMA = STRESS and stepping away from it is all about AWARENESS.
There is a very simple diagram about Drama and it is called the “Drama Triangle” (See photo below).
There are three points in which you step into this triangle.
1️⃣The Victim
2️⃣The Rescuer
3️⃣The Persecutor
During a drama episode you move through all three points.

Example:
My friend saying to me:
Friend: I need to lose weight, I am so fat and depressed about it, but the universe keeps conspiring against me whenever I attempt to get healthy (VICTIM)
Me: Ok, well I run at lunchtimes so come running with me? (RESCUER)
Friend: I would but I only get an hour for lunch and I would be too sweaty afterwards, plus I am too heavy to run. (VICTIM)
Me: Ok, let’s do yoga after work? (RESCUER)
Friend: I can’t, I am not flexible enough and yoga doesn’t work for weight loss. (VICTIM)
At this point I am getting fed up.
Me: Well suit yourself, I’m only trying to help you but you are just being difficult (PERSECUTOR) 
Friend: Why are you being mean, I’m just telling you that I can’t do these things, I’m not as fit as you! (PERSECUTOR)
Me: I’m not being mean, I am trying to help you! (VICTIM)

As you can see during this conversation, I stepped into my friends Drama Triangle as the Rescuer, I quickly shifted into the Persecutor role and then just as fast hit the Victim point. This cycle can go on and on, leaving you feeling stressed and feeling like “Drama always finds you”.

But Drama doesn’t find you, does it? You step into it.

Once you become aware of this you can start to put in place actions and decisions to not get on the triangle in the first place and once in the triangle your awareness can be the tool to simply Step Out of the triangle.

TASK:  

  • Have a think about the relationships in your life where Drama Triangles crop up all too often?
  • Have a think about what position you enter the triangle?
  • Consider how you can step away from this cycle?

Less drama = Less stress
Less Stress = Better quality of life

Better quality of life = A stronger mindset for health & fitness

Kel xo

How to use January, a little differently….

We’ve all done this, January 1st rolls around and next minute we are all saying stupid ass shit like, “This year I will not drink alcohol”, “this year I will lose 20 kilos”, “this year I will stop swearing”*…… We start off with a hiss and a roar and by the second or third week of January everyone is moaning about the weather, the drained bank accounts (thanks Christmas) and their resolutions are something of the past.

Well, I proposed we “re-purpose” the month of January.

January should be used for finishing off the previous year, December is so interrupted and full of festivities that most people write the month of December off. “Ooops I can’t possibly eat healthy and in moderation, it is December (the 1st) after all”, “oh damn it, I have another dinner party or drinks invite, might as well smash 10 lagers and 14 packets of crisps, it is December after all”….. you get my drift right?

So instead of “starting clean” in the new year use January to conclude all the things you didn’t finish or get around to in December. Also, use January to “plan your intent” for the year ahead. Intent is not a New Years Resolution. INTENT is more about how you plan to use your year ahead.
Want to get fitter? Your INTENT should be to do some exercise weekly that you enjoy and build from there. Then when you exercise, your INTENT is to put your whole mind and body into that exercise with the INTENT to make each exercise session all about getting a little bit fitter each time.

Also, be fuck’n selfish with your INTENTIONS. Whatever you set out to do to make yourself a better person, needs to be all about YOU. If you are losing weight to please someone else, you are doing yourself a disservice. If you are changing the way you act to please someone else and acting that way is outside of your nature, then you will be lost and are doing yourself a disservice. Be selfish, have INTENT and INTENTIONS for you and only you, trust me you will make more of a success out of it and you will like the person you become.

So, stop being a ball bag, ditch the January resolutions, finish what you started in January and plan for a year of good Intentions.

I swear to fuck’n god it is the way forward!

Kel xo

*I actually gave up swearing for lent last year, at about 6 hours into the whole exercise I ran into an old neighbour who made a racist comment about the new people in our old house, I dropped about seven “fucks” and nine “mother fuckers” relaying the conversation to my husband. But for the remainder of the 40 days I was actually quite good at keeping my swearing at bay….. There is hope for redemption people!

Well that was fun! Hmmm No, not really….. My thoughts on the festive season.

Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas Eve, getting prepped and ready for that magical visit from Santa and I thoroughly enjoy the morning of Christmas Day, seeing Amelia’s face and excitement over Christmas!

But I don’t enjoy the pressure I see so many people under. The financial strain, the family expectations, the food, the drinking and the internal need to make that one day so incredible that they quite literally become ill after the event!

Firstly, I use to be in that position when I lived back in New Zealand, the motherland. We would find ourselves separated on Christmas Eve and Day simply to keep family happy, we were miserable and wishing it would all be over, we don’t recall the food, we don’t recall the presents, all we remember is the pressure and exhaustion. Then almost 10 years ago we moved to the UK. The first Christmas rolled around, and we chilled at home, we didn’t go anywhere, we didn’t overeat, we didn’t over extend on gifts and best of all, we didn’t get wound up about any of those things! We recognised this fact and my goodness did we notice the difference and from then on decided to make certain that we would continue this tradition, of chilling the fuck out.

I guess you could say we were liberated and slowly over the years we have started to drop other pressures from this time of year too.

We don’t cook a turkey or spend copious number of hours slaving in the kitchen on Christmas Day. We simply choose a meal (anything we fancy) and enjoy it, without guilt, without restraint.

We use don’t use all the dishes and cookware in the house – one load in the dishwasher like a normal day and that is it. None of this spending hours cleaning up!

We don’t panic buy or try to go to the supermarket during the “witching time”, none of that it needed really. The supermarkets are open longer prior, and the shops are only closed for a day! You will survive without sprouts and the day will not be ruined if you forget something…. Unless you are trying to compete with someone, compare yourself to them or you are still in that place of winding yourself up to a point of bat shit crazy? If that is the case, then enjoy the post-Christmas sickness, because you deserve it!

I guess you could say, we had an “Uh-ha” moment that first Christmas in the UK and recognised we didn’t need the undue stress, so we cut it out of our lives. Which leads me on to the real topic of discussion for this blog post.

STRESS!

It makes you sick. It makes you anxious. It makes you a miserable fucker.

So why do you draw yourself into stress day in and day out, through engaging in activities that cause it, engaging with people who invite it into your life, through setting yourself unrealistic expectations?

Maybe it is time to take a look at what things cause you stress and then take an axe to it and cut it out of your life, or at the very least reduce its dosage.

Maybe 2019 so be less about being perfect and more about being aware. Something to think about, huh?

Kel xo