Why Fucking Up is an Important part of the zen life!

I’m a screw up.  I can be a glutton.  I can over exercise.  I am obsessive.  I Fuck Up regularly at life.

In this world of Social Media giving us access to view our families, friends and total strangers’ lives, we have become accustomed to seeing the filtered version.  Where once our “best behaviour” was reserved for those rare family gatherings, remember your mother giving you and your siblings the pep talk in the car before entering such a gathering “Now you lot better be on your best behaviour in here or you’ll taste the back of my hand”, no?  It must have just been my family’s kind of pep talk!

But the point being, we now see only a snippet and a well groomed version of everyone.  It is rare to see a persons real life published freely for those to see.  There is a scary trend amongst the youth of today, it is called “Being Insta Ready”.  Yup, it is a real thing.  One must now, prepare oneself for the day ahead in the event that one is to post on Instagram!  I must be getting old, because that seems bonkers to me.

I am here to tell you that being normal IS OK!!

It is ok to not apply makeup everyday, it is ok to mutter “oh for fucks sake” when your partner, kids, friends, colleagues are pissing you off.  We don’t have to filter our lives day in and day out. Sure, be kind wherever and whenever possible but trying to be picture perfect, trying to keep up with your neighbours and friends, trying to out perform yourself at every turn is STRESSING YOU OUT!

Please just stop it! 

Before the modern age developed into the technology driven fast pace environment we live in now, there were fewer stressors in our daily lives.  Yes, being hunted by predators (not the alien kind) was part and parcel of life back then but if you were to be hunted and chased the stress of it was pretty short lived and our ancestors would have a quick adrenaline spike, they would fight or flight and then return to a pretty chilled out state of being.
In todays, world we encounter stressors moment to moment, you get up, check your phone and find a shitty text, email, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram post, you immediately get a stress response.  You rush to get your kids to school and one or all of them are being “difficult” (we refer to these “difficult” moments as “pitching a shit fit” in our house), this stresses you out. You drive to work or wherever and encounter dopey ass drivers or a traffic jam, you stress out further, your work stresses you, you’re still receiving shitty emails, text messages and you are still reading and re-reading social media posts that give you a blood pressure problem.  Then you sit-down at the end of the day, a day of constant adrenaline highs and you collapse into a heap with thoughts of “I ate like an asshole today because I was so stressed out”, these thoughts turn to “I must eat better, I am fat, I am lazy, I am not enough”.

When I said JUST STOP IT earlier, I mean it.  There are so many things in your daily life that do not need to stress you out and this constant state of elevated adrenaline and cortisol is ruining your health, it is shortening your lifespan and ultimately the reason you may be experiencing health issues, gut problems and poor sleep.

Things to cut out:

  • Checking social media and your phone in general upon waking and during the day. Remove apps from you phone that tempt you to look.  You only harm yourself.
  • Be early.  Get up a little earlier, leave home earlier, start a project earlier to finish earlier.  Giving yourself a little bit of extra time is a magical thing, you find yourself feeling much calmer when you are not in constant rush or feeling of being on the back foot, which creates a feeling of stress.
  • Plan ahead.  Walk through your day tomorrow in your head before your settle down for the night.  Consider timings and jobs/tasks that need to be sorted, write them down.  Failing to plan = Planning to fail.
  • Acknowledge that you will encounter ASSHOLES.  It is a sad fact but a fact all the same, we are surrounded by people who will annoy us and guess what?  You too, as am I, are an ASSHOLE.  Someone you encounter today will find you and me annoying as fuck.  It is life and it is solely on you to remember and tell yourself, that someone else’s actions only affect you and your stress levels if you let it.  So in the words of Queen Elsa “let it go, let it go”.

Don’t fall victim to these stressors daily.  Don’t try to be picture perfect.  Be yourself, your normal fucked up self, protect your health by being authentic and real.  Stressing about these things will ultimate kill you and the life you are living between now and death will be a miserable one.

Thanks for reading and LET IT GO, LET IT GO……

Kel xo

Stacking the Ratio’s in your favour.

I’m a true believer in Ratio Stacking.  I believe that if you simply act out more positive behaviours/actions in your day than negative behaviours/actions, means you’ve won.  What have you won exactly?  Well that part is up to you.

Say your task is to lose weight.  Daily behaviours that give you a daily win towards that goal would be, drinking plenty of water to remain hydrated, eating enough vegetables and fruits for micronutrients and fibre intake; exercising for 30 minutes, consuming enough protein to give your body the building blocks to run efficiently, consuming great quality fats to help your hormones be balanced, help your energy and mental clarity.  These actions stack the odds in your favour.  If you perform as many of these as possible each day you leave little room for negative actions, but we ALL do daily actions that we deem to be negative when we have a task to achieve.  But you know what?  We ALL DO and that is ok.  It is your viewpoint that matters.  
If most of the time the positive outweighs the negative then you have won.  Because each daily win of these ratios, stacks the ratio of wins up for the week, then the month and then the quarter and then the year and ultimately your lifetime.

It is about looking at situations as a whole, as opposed to looking at a segment with a microscope.  
An example of this would be, my husband travels for work.  When he travels, my routine gets a little messy and I am very routine driven, it also means that the dynamics in the family and household shift a little.  I could view this as “my husband travels too much and I can’t stick to a routine, so therefore it is a disaster for me and this is why I can’t achieve XYZ”.
Or I could take a step back, pause for a moment and apply the ratio in a more accurate way.  “On average my husband is away 5 nights a month, this is 60 nights per year, so he is home 305 nights per year or away 16.4% and home 83.6%”.  

When you look at this situation under a microscope and only focus on the nights away then it is easy to get caught up in the disruption to routine, the workload increase and dynamic shift from a negative viewpoint (by the way there is an upside to this in my opinion, frittata with all the mushrooms for dinner, the bed to myself, a cleaner house and best of all mummy & daughter time, plus I am one of those personalities that needs space and time to myself).

When you view the situation as a broader picture then it is only 16.4% of the time, those ratios are stacked sky high in my favour.

The same could be said for judging your body.  How many of you look in the mirror or at a photo and your eye zooms in on what you deem as your negative attributes?  Ahhhh I hate my [Insert your negative judgements], so therefore I am [Insert your sweeping negative statement].  Interestingly I once did a ratio of positive things and negative things about myself going head to toe.  I was actually shocked by my ratio outcome and at my personal viewpoint about myself.  The negatives were, pimples on my chin and jawline, cellulite on the backs of my legs and butt, stretch marks on my hips and thighs and about 10% too much body fat all over.  The positive things, were fine hair but a tonne of it, great skin tone on the rest of my face, straight teeth, plus a load of other things about my face, lean and strong upper body, strong athletic physique in general, plus a lot of other great attributes that would take too long to list.  When I tallied all of this up, I became aware that I only actually disliked 3-4% of my body, so I could focus on that 3-4% or I could focus on the 96-97% that I liked and found positive about myself.

It all comes down to prospective and ratios!  I’m not saying be a positive quote touting  hippie (although I am a bit of a hippie, to a degree), I am actually encouraging you to be pragmatic, logical and more sensible when it comes to looking all aspects of your life, your viewpoints and consider how to stack the ratios in your favour.

Thank you for reading!

Kel xo

PS: I have just proof read this and noticed that I haven’t sworn…..Fuck yeah!

Why you don’t need a “new” diet.

How many “new diets” have you tried?  Only to return to your current eating plans.

You don’t need a new diet, you already have a diet.  Your personal diet/style of eating is something that is ingrained in you, it is sometimes a result of your religious beliefs, your upbringing, your likes and dislikes.  You eat this way because it often fits with your schedule, your desired eating times and patterns.  If you have eaten this way your whole life and then you get yourself a shiny new diet, chances are you will gravitate back to your “real life” diet.

I am asked a lot for a “meal plan” or a “diet overhaul”.  I do NOT “do” meal plans or diet overhauls, because I do NOT believe setting up my clients for disaster and failure.  Instead, together we tinker and hone your current diet, why?  Because your personal eating style is part of you, it is part of your identity and here at KKFitMachines we do NOT believe in the one size fits all approach.

Instead of hating on your body and thinking I need a shiny new diet to “fix” me, I challenge you to pause for thought, for just a moment.  How about just making a small and maintainable change to your diet each month for a year?  I promise you that in one years time you will change your body permanently for the better, instead of starting a new diet, failing and going back to the start, then starting another new diet, failing and going back to the start, so on and so on, until in one years time you are no better off, sometimes worse off, majorly frustrated and poorer for it too!

Change doesn’t need to be drastic to bring about the big results you crave.

Thanks for reading!
Kel xo

Commercial Diet Plans: What they are doing to your headspace!

99% of you will have heard of Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Slim Fast etc…..

In fact, I wouldn’t mind betting that a good number of you have been on one or more of these diets at some point in time.

They all work the same from a structural point of view, less calories in and more calories out (creating a calorie deficit), tracking the dieter with scales weekly, in a group/one to one setting for accountability.

There is nothing special about these diets and the success rate is shockingly bad despite the what their marketing says.  These diets (like all diets) are setup to get you a boost of results initially, the idea is to create a reliance on the programme and on the group mentality.  As motivation wanes, the dieter slips back to old patterned behaviours, which has them returning to the programme/group weekly, wondering why they can’t seem to lose the weight.  

This is where the group accountability and group mentality comes in as the dieter is encouraged to keep returning i.e. keep paying for the privilege of being weighed and surrounding themselves with likeminded dieters.
Now this is a kicker “Like Minded Dieters”, are these the type of people who:
a)    Weigh-in on a Friday morning, then go and binge eat Friday, Saturday and Sunday, then proceed to starve themselves Monday through to Friday morning in order to lose 1lb? 
b)    Are they the type of people who lose a 2 lbs one week, nothing for a few weeks and then pile on 5 lbs only to feel down about it, but bring the rest of the group down with them, all the while claiming to be sticking to the programme but not owning their misgivings, but underneath they are really living with the torment of shame about their misgivings and then self sooth with food the anxiety a weekly weigh-in brings.  It’s a vicious cycle, but that is what these commercial diets and the groups associated with them create.

Your headspace is where you live 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  Now you would not allow someone or a group to enter your house where you live and create havoc in your home once a week?  So why would you allow that havoc into your headspace every week and bloody well pay for it too!

The amount of messed up people I meet on a daily basis from these commercial diet programmes is insane.  We have to spend a long time working through, what is perceived as their “naughty foods”, “free foods” and “limited foods”.  These programmes label foods as “free” – eat all you want and as “syns” – I mean what the hell is that implying…… If you know what the label “Catholic School Girl” means, then you will understand what telling people certain things are sinful, will eventually result in.

On the subject of “free foods”, look at who sponsors these Diet Programmes and you will start to understand why a particular brand of yogurt or pasta snack is considered free or virtually free….. it has nothing to do with healthy choices but everything to do with the brand sponsoring the diet plan.

I hear almost daily “oh isn’t that *insert food* bad for you”?
My clients, friends and family will tell you I have a very unflattering response to that, my face scrunches up, one nostril flares (the left) and a very sarcastic “WHY?” flies out my mouth.  

I really feel strongly that we need to challenge the trend of demonising foods.  We need to challenge the concept of paying to be weighed weekly and especially protect our headspace from these destructive and grossly inaccurate weight-loss programmes.

Thank you for reading.

Kel xo 

The answers you’ve been looking for….

As a Nutritionist, Trainer and Healthy Mindset Advocate, I get asked the following questions a lot.

  • What time is best to workout for weight loss/muscle gains?
  • What type of workout is best for weight loss/muscle gains? 
  • What is the best way to eat, Keto, Paleo, High Carbs, Slimming World, Weight Watchers etc?
  • How fast can I expect to see results?

The list could go on and on. When I am asked this types of questions, I can guarantee that they are being driven from a place of desperation and need for a quick fix.

What time is best to workout? Whatever time works best for YOU and your crazy schedule!

What type of workout is best? Whatever type YOU enjoy and can do consistently!

What is the best way to eat? Whatever way works for you, that is balanced and sustainable for you, so long as you are nourishing your body with proper nutrients*.

How fast can I expect to see results?  The depends on the results YOU are expecting.  But your question should be, “can I maintain the result I am hoping for without reverting back to the behaviour pattern that landed me in my current state”?

The only “magic answers” when it comes to fitness and healthy living are BEHAVIOUR (First), EFFORT (Second) and CONSISTENCY (Third).

These are my Three (3) laws for getting and keeping the results you what.  Let’s look at them a bit closer.

  1. BEHAVIOUR:  Where you are now with your health is the sum total of your behaviour up to this point.  If you are over weight, unwell or generally unhealthy, it will be the Behaviours you have performed daily that have landed you where you are.  Your Behaviour is your IDENTITY.  If you identify as a Healthy Person then you will Behave like a Healthy Person.  If you Identify as someone who is ‘Not a Morning Person’ then your will struggle to get up early to hit the gym, the struggle will be your Behaviour.
    The first important step for obtaining the results you desire, is to decide YOUR IDENTITY and behave as that identity would behave.
    My personal identity is, I am fit, healthy, hard working, kind and friendly.  So each day I make sure I embody and live that identity.  I train early mornings daily, I prepare and eat nutritious foods daily, I smile and say hello to whoever I can, I consistently and mindfully put in my best effort in everything I do.  This is how I envision my desired Identity Behaving.
  2. EFFORT: This is the Action part of the equation. Acting out the Efforts daily of the person you want to be.  In the way I describe above how I live my own Identity.  Putting in daily efforts to behave as you should, to be who you want to be, will set you on the right path to become fitter, healthier, stronger and better in your health and fitness journey.  The effort part is the journey and the journey is the part you need to enjoy the most, because this is a part you need to repeat constantly to become the person you desire.  We are what we do the most and enjoy the most.
  3. CONSISTENCY:  Most people fall down at this part of the puzzle.  They go to the gym or for a run for a few weeks and then stop because they are not seeing the results they think should be there.  There is a lag time, the valley of disappointment as I have heard it termed.  This is the time in which you see nothing (of course this depends on whether you are looking for the right signals), you get bored, your motivation dissipates and you stop.  However, if you just consistently continued with the efforts and saw your efforts as your identity you would eventually make it through the valley of disappointment and realise the awesomeness of the other side is worth the daily grind to achieve the desired state.  Much like the stone mason hammering at the piece of rock, it cracks open on the 101 hit, but it was actually the 100 hammer hits prior that made the crack open.

Take care of yourself and your health and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s.🖤



*I am not touching on the mindset side of commercialised diet plans in the post, but it is worth stating here that I am increasingly against these diets and what they do for a persons mindset.  Another blog, I promise.

All those SHITTY Thoughtless Social Media Posts….. Part Two

Be careful of the “Guru”!

The Health and Fitness hoards on Social Media have more “Gurus” than my dog can shit and let me tell you, my 6kg beastly Pup can shit a lot!

All those posts about “the best way to lose weight, gain muscle and become a superior being” are misleading you into wasting your time, money and efforts.


As Apple rolled out it latest iOS 12, they added a pretty cool feature for tracking your “Screen Time”, this little function gave me the push to do something I had been meaning to do for a long time.  I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my iPhone.  I switched off email notifications and suppressed notifications on all the apps that I find myself wasting too much time on.
When I work, I listen to an audiobook, a podcast or music, so I pop in my bluetooth headphones and then I put my phone in another room.  This is a habit I decided to master and as far as habits go, it has been one of the best ones I have implemented into my life.  The time per day I have clawed back is amazing.
I still use Social Media (clearly if you are reading this blog via my Social Media accounts), but in order for me to use these apps, I must open my laptop and log in to them, this is called putting a layer of friction in the way to assist you in bedding down the habit you wish to implement.  In other words, I have used my inherent lazy nature to my own advantage.

Why did I do this?  I found I was getting sucked in and worked up by all the bullshit on Social Media.  All the posts about “not all calories are equal” – say what now?
“To build muscle: eat protein and carbs only, to lose weight eat protein and fat only” – Seriously what the fuck!  And my all time favourite “I stopped eating {insert random food} and lost 20lbs in 4 days” – Yep, I lost 22lbs in 24 hours once……Its called giving birth!

It is very liberating to have time back in my day and it be in the process of creating a habit to eliminate the stress that comes with reading stupid Social Media posts during times in my day that I should be focussed on other tasks.

As for the people posting this crap constantly, please stop!  Just quit it or create a habit cue that has you taking a moment of rational thought before you hit the ‘Share’ button.
By posting this shit you are confusing your audience, you are creating a number of barriers for your followers and that essentially is a hinderance for them to achieve their best….. Or is this what some of these “Guru’s” are trying to do to their followers?  Create enough confusion to keep them coming back for answers?

I spend a lot of time with my clients, answering their questions and untangling their confusion surrounding nutrition, training and mindset.  I would have to say a lot of the time their confusion arises from the bullshit they are reading on Social Media.


Each time you see a post and you think, “I should do that” or “Maybe that is the magic solution to my problem”, STOP, BREATHE & THINK (CRITICALLY THINK).  Then ask someone who actually has knowledge, has your best interests at heart and who will be willing to shoot you a straight answer, even if you don’t want to hear what that straight answer is.

So, be aware of the ‘Guru’, it could save you time, money and effort.

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts?








All those SHITTY Thoughtless Social Media Posts….. Part One

I guess we are all guilty of it……..We hit the “Share” button all too easy.

But the Health and Fitness hoards on Social Media have to be up there as the worst for posting Shitty Thoughtless Crap on their social media.

I am sure their intentions are good at the time, but as you scroll through countless well lit selfies, motivational quotes, misleading nutrition/training advice and transformation photos, do you ever stop and think, about the impact they are having on you?


Your thoughts are most likely along the lines of “that’s the body I want”, “that’s what I need to do”, “I’ll never make the grade to be like her/him”, which leads to “Oh I fucked up again and ate that, spent this, missed a workout and I’ll never be as good as them”.  Which leads to, “fuck it all, I’m back to square one, I might as well quit”.

Next thing you know, you are scrolling through your Social Media and come Monday, you’re back on the “hunting down those goals Train, next stop Fuck it all, calling at Self Sabotage, destination Vicious Cycle”.

What most people are posting on Social Media is their “end result”, very rarely they are showing/sharing the process, the habits that got them to the end result.  Someone else’s Goal (end result) does nothing positive for your state of mind or motivation. In fact it has a negative result which keeps you on the Train calling at Self Sabotage and terminating at Vicious Cycle.

The magic is actually in the Process and the Habits, it is the small adjustments that yield the biggest results in the long term.  If a Pilot sets off on a flight from Auckland, New Zealand to Los Angeles, USA with the nose of a plane set one or two degrees in the wrong direction, without correcting that degree of error, by the time that plane has travelled 13+ hours, it could arrive in San Francisco, USA.  The flight time is the same, the distance is similar but the destination (Goal or End Result) is very different.  That small degree of error results in the flight landing 350 miles away from the desired location.
Now, the pilot doesn’t then come over the loud speaker and say “sorry folks, I fucked up my calculations, we are re-fuelling and returning 10, 500 miles back to New Zealand so I can start again and hopefully this next time I will get the goal of LA”.
What actually happens is, the pilot makes checks along the flight path, makes small adjustments throughout the journey to ensure the flight lands in the right location.

Just like anything in life, those small adjustments, positive habits and minor tweaks along the way, will help you land yourself the desired end result.  By embedding yourself into the process, focusing on the adjustments and checks and learning to enjoy the journey, you give yourself a greater chance of achieving the desired results and keeping that result for the long term.


Of course Nutrition is my area of expertise, so let’s apply this to nutrition.

Your Goal is to reduce your daily refined sugar intake and to lose some excess body weight.

You currently eat four Oreo cookies a day.  You decide to make a point to reduce this to two Oreo’s per day and you change nothing else in your diet.
Over the course of a year (12 months), you will have:

  • Cut 38,690 calories from your diet which equates roughly to losing 11lbs / 5kg of body weight;
  • Cut 3,431g of refined sugar from your diet which is equal to almost 7 bags of white sugar.

You are still consuming and enjoying two cookies a day but that small and quite possibly unnoticeable change of habit will yield you a bigger result than the Train to Vicious Cycle ever could.
If going balls to the wall being “good” to look like a Social Media post and then falling off the Good Wagon only to find yourself back at square one is something you find yourself doing regularly, then you need to start discarding these Balls to the Wall attempts and start making small positive habits that you can stick to and make part of your lifestyle in order to land at the desired destination.

As the saying goes, “if you get a flat tyre on your car, your don’t slash the other three tyres”…..

Thanks for reading my words for Wednesday!

Kel xo