Well that was fun! Hmmm No, not really….. My thoughts on the festive season.

Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas Eve, getting prepped and ready for that magical visit from Santa and I thoroughly enjoy the morning of Christmas Day, seeing Amelia’s face and excitement over Christmas!

But I don’t enjoy the pressure I see so many people under. The financial strain, the family expectations, the food, the drinking and the internal need to make that one day so incredible that they quite literally become ill after the event!

Firstly, I use to be in that position when I lived back in New Zealand, the motherland. We would find ourselves separated on Christmas Eve and Day simply to keep family happy, we were miserable and wishing it would all be over, we don’t recall the food, we don’t recall the presents, all we remember is the pressure and exhaustion. Then almost 10 years ago we moved to the UK. The first Christmas rolled around, and we chilled at home, we didn’t go anywhere, we didn’t overeat, we didn’t over extend on gifts and best of all, we didn’t get wound up about any of those things! We recognised this fact and my goodness did we notice the difference and from then on decided to make certain that we would continue this tradition, of chilling the fuck out.

I guess you could say we were liberated and slowly over the years we have started to drop other pressures from this time of year too.

We don’t cook a turkey or spend copious number of hours slaving in the kitchen on Christmas Day. We simply choose a meal (anything we fancy) and enjoy it, without guilt, without restraint.

We use don’t use all the dishes and cookware in the house – one load in the dishwasher like a normal day and that is it. None of this spending hours cleaning up!

We don’t panic buy or try to go to the supermarket during the “witching time”, none of that it needed really. The supermarkets are open longer prior, and the shops are only closed for a day! You will survive without sprouts and the day will not be ruined if you forget something…. Unless you are trying to compete with someone, compare yourself to them or you are still in that place of winding yourself up to a point of bat shit crazy? If that is the case, then enjoy the post-Christmas sickness, because you deserve it!

I guess you could say, we had an “Uh-ha” moment that first Christmas in the UK and recognised we didn’t need the undue stress, so we cut it out of our lives. Which leads me on to the real topic of discussion for this blog post.

STRESS!

It makes you sick. It makes you anxious. It makes you a miserable fucker.

So why do you draw yourself into stress day in and day out, through engaging in activities that cause it, engaging with people who invite it into your life, through setting yourself unrealistic expectations?

Maybe it is time to take a look at what things cause you stress and then take an axe to it and cut it out of your life, or at the very least reduce its dosage.

Maybe 2019 so be less about being perfect and more about being aware. Something to think about, huh?

Kel xo

Stacking the Ratio’s in your favour.

I’m a true believer in Ratio Stacking.  I believe that if you simply act out more positive behaviours/actions in your day than negative behaviours/actions, means you’ve won.  What have you won exactly?  Well that part is up to you.

Say your task is to lose weight.  Daily behaviours that give you a daily win towards that goal would be, drinking plenty of water to remain hydrated, eating enough vegetables and fruits for micronutrients and fibre intake; exercising for 30 minutes, consuming enough protein to give your body the building blocks to run efficiently, consuming great quality fats to help your hormones be balanced, help your energy and mental clarity.  These actions stack the odds in your favour.  If you perform as many of these as possible each day you leave little room for negative actions, but we ALL do daily actions that we deem to be negative when we have a task to achieve.  But you know what?  We ALL DO and that is ok.  It is your viewpoint that matters.  
If most of the time the positive outweighs the negative then you have won.  Because each daily win of these ratios, stacks the ratio of wins up for the week, then the month and then the quarter and then the year and ultimately your lifetime.

It is about looking at situations as a whole, as opposed to looking at a segment with a microscope.  
An example of this would be, my husband travels for work.  When he travels, my routine gets a little messy and I am very routine driven, it also means that the dynamics in the family and household shift a little.  I could view this as “my husband travels too much and I can’t stick to a routine, so therefore it is a disaster for me and this is why I can’t achieve XYZ”.
Or I could take a step back, pause for a moment and apply the ratio in a more accurate way.  “On average my husband is away 5 nights a month, this is 60 nights per year, so he is home 305 nights per year or away 16.4% and home 83.6%”.  

When you look at this situation under a microscope and only focus on the nights away then it is easy to get caught up in the disruption to routine, the workload increase and dynamic shift from a negative viewpoint (by the way there is an upside to this in my opinion, frittata with all the mushrooms for dinner, the bed to myself, a cleaner house and best of all mummy & daughter time, plus I am one of those personalities that needs space and time to myself).

When you view the situation as a broader picture then it is only 16.4% of the time, those ratios are stacked sky high in my favour.

The same could be said for judging your body.  How many of you look in the mirror or at a photo and your eye zooms in on what you deem as your negative attributes?  Ahhhh I hate my [Insert your negative judgements], so therefore I am [Insert your sweeping negative statement].  Interestingly I once did a ratio of positive things and negative things about myself going head to toe.  I was actually shocked by my ratio outcome and at my personal viewpoint about myself.  The negatives were, pimples on my chin and jawline, cellulite on the backs of my legs and butt, stretch marks on my hips and thighs and about 10% too much body fat all over.  The positive things, were fine hair but a tonne of it, great skin tone on the rest of my face, straight teeth, plus a load of other things about my face, lean and strong upper body, strong athletic physique in general, plus a lot of other great attributes that would take too long to list.  When I tallied all of this up, I became aware that I only actually disliked 3-4% of my body, so I could focus on that 3-4% or I could focus on the 96-97% that I liked and found positive about myself.

It all comes down to prospective and ratios!  I’m not saying be a positive quote touting  hippie (although I am a bit of a hippie, to a degree), I am actually encouraging you to be pragmatic, logical and more sensible when it comes to looking all aspects of your life, your viewpoints and consider how to stack the ratios in your favour.

Thank you for reading!

Kel xo

PS: I have just proof read this and noticed that I haven’t sworn…..Fuck yeah!