I loathe Social Media, I love seeing my friends posts and I enjoy knowing that they are ok. See my predicament here? I think Social Media is useful, but I hate it all the same.
Roll back to 2007 or 2008 when I first joined Facebook, I recall agonising for days, literally days over my first ever “status update”…… “What will people think of me? Why would I write something about myself? What will I write about myself? Delete that, that is too self involved! Who that fuck wants to know that about me?” Oh how I agonised.
However, I rolled with it, I got good at it, I could spin the best “look at how happy and successful I am” posts. Then as I got older, grumpier, more cynical and a shit tonne more aware, I realised, I loathe status updates, posts and those fuckn positive meme bullshit posts. So I stopped posting, went cold turkey apart from the odd share of something inappropriate, distastefully funny and just plain wrong, man I love those and the friends whom I share them off! ~ Keep keeping on ya’ll!
Anyway, this morning I was getting my contact lenses sorted (thanks Natalie if you’re reading this) and we got talking about Social Media, nutrition and science and it inspired me to write this post. Kind of like writing my thoughts down again.
The conversation made me think about all the information I have acquired over the years regarding nutrition and I realised I need to get this out of my head and into blogs and posts.
So, let the flow of info commence.
PS: I am typing this with my newly fitted contacts and well…..this vision shit is awesome!
If you know anything about what I do, you’ll know that I am a Nutritionist, so you might think that my focus should be all about food, diets and recipes.
But if you’ve been reading my blogs you will have noticed that I post and write predominantly about mindset, stress and habits.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
I recently decided to take a moment to myself and write down all the things I do on a daily basis that contribute to my health, wellbeing and fitness. There were about 8 things I consistently do on a daily basis that are ingrained habits which assist me in achieving overall health and wellbeing e.g I move my body each and everyday; I drink plenty of water and stay hydrated all day long; I sleep a quality 7-8 hours nightly etc etc.
I then wrote down the further things that I need to incorporate each day in order to achieve a higher sense of health and wellbeing. Much to my surprise there was only three items on that list. Three simple acts to focus on.
So what is my point?
How many of you get lost in all the confusion about health, fitness and wellbeing on social media? How many times have you decided on a simple plan of action, then you read or see a post about “this one diet hack changed my body”, “this training move made all the difference”, you then click on the click-bait and next minute you are on a diversion from that simple plan of action you were following 5 minutes ago? You repeat this action enough and you are now miles away from achieving your results of better health, you are frustrated, confused and looking to blame everything and anything.
SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN!
Quiet the noise! Limit your social media! Choose who you follow wisely! Guard your mindset vehemently! Because at the end of the day, your mindset, stress and habits are the biggest influencer of your health, wellbeing and fitness.
I suggest you make yourself a list too. On the first page write the heading “What I already do GREAT!”, then list all the things you do daily that contribute to a healthy mind, body and lifestyle. On a second page write the heading, “What I want to add to make things AWESOME!”, then list the main things that you want to add to achieve that higher state of wellbeing. Then on the third page, write the How. ⚛︎ Keep it simple. ⚛︎ Make it straightforward. ⚛︎ Ensure it is obtainable and actionable.
NOW REPEAT IT DAILY.
Don’t be fooled by “quick fixes”, stay the course. Keep in your own lane!
Who is a DRAMA magnetic? TASK CHALLENGE AT THE END OF THIS BLOG – Please read it first.
DRAMA = STRESS and stepping away from it is all about AWARENESS. There is a very simple diagram about Drama and it is called the “Drama Triangle” (See photo below). There are three points in which you step into this triangle. 1️⃣The Victim 2️⃣The Rescuer 3️⃣The Persecutor During a drama episode you move through all three points.
Example: My friend saying to me: Friend: I need to lose weight, I am so fat and depressed about it, but the universe keeps conspiring against me whenever I attempt to get healthy (VICTIM) Me: Ok, well I run at lunchtimes so come running with me? (RESCUER) Friend: I would but I only get an hour for lunch and I would be too sweaty afterwards, plus I am too heavy to run. (VICTIM) Me: Ok, let’s do yoga after work? (RESCUER) Friend: I can’t, I am not flexible enough and yoga doesn’t work for weight loss. (VICTIM) At this point I am getting fed up. Me: Well suit yourself, I’m only trying to help you but you are just being difficult (PERSECUTOR) Friend: Why are you being mean, I’m just telling you that I can’t do these things, I’m not as fit as you! (PERSECUTOR) Me: I’m not being mean, I am trying to help you! (VICTIM)
As you can see during this conversation, I stepped into my friends Drama Triangle as the Rescuer, I quickly shifted into the Persecutor role and then just as fast hit the Victim point. This cycle can go on and on, leaving you feeling stressed and feeling like “Drama always finds you”.
But Drama doesn’t find you, does it? You step into it.
Once you become aware of this you can start to put in place actions and decisions to not get on the triangle in the first place and once in the triangle your awareness can be the tool to simply Step Out of the triangle.
Have a think about the relationships in your life where Drama Triangles crop up all too often?
Have a think about what position you enter the triangle?
Consider how you can step away from this cycle?
Less drama = Less stress Less Stress = Better quality of life
Better quality of life = A stronger mindset for health & fitness
We’ve all done this, January 1st rolls around and next minute we are all saying stupid ass shit like, “This year I will not drink alcohol”, “this year I will lose 20 kilos”, “this year I will stop swearing”*…… We start off with a hiss and a roar and by the second or third week of January everyone is moaning about the weather, the drained bank accounts (thanks Christmas) and their resolutions are something of the past.
Well, I proposed we “re-purpose” the month of January.
January should be used for finishing off the previous year, December is so interrupted and full of festivities that most people write the month of December off. “Ooops I can’t possibly eat healthy and in moderation, it is December (the 1st) after all”, “oh damn it, I have another dinner party or drinks invite, might as well smash 10 lagers and 14 packets of crisps, it is December after all”….. you get my drift right?
So instead of “starting clean” in the new year use January to conclude all the things you didn’t finish or get around to in December. Also, use January to “plan your intent” for the year ahead. Intent is not a New Years Resolution. INTENT is more about how you plan to use your year ahead. Want to get fitter? Your INTENT should be to do some exercise weekly that you enjoy and build from there. Then when you exercise, your INTENT is to put your whole mind and body into that exercise with the INTENT to make each exercise session all about getting a little bit fitter each time.
Also, be fuck’n selfish with your INTENTIONS. Whatever you set out to do to make yourself a better person, needs to be all about YOU. If you are losing weight to please someone else, you are doing yourself a disservice. If you are changing the way you act to please someone else and acting that way is outside of your nature, then you will be lost and are doing yourself a disservice. Be selfish, have INTENT and INTENTIONS for you and only you, trust me you will make more of a success out of it and you will like the person you become.
So, stop being a ball bag, ditch the January resolutions, finish what you started in January and plan for a year of good Intentions.
I swear to fuck’n god it is the way forward!
*I actually gave up swearing for lent last year, at about 6 hours into the whole exercise I ran into an old neighbour who made a racist comment about the new people in our old house, I dropped about seven “fucks” and nine “mother fuckers” relaying the conversation to my husband. But for the remainder of the 40 days I was actually quite good at keeping my swearing at bay….. There is hope for redemption people!
I’m a screw up. I can be a glutton. I can over exercise. I am obsessive. I Fuck Up regularly at life.
In this world of Social Media giving us access to view our families, friends and total strangers’ lives, we have become accustomed to seeing the filtered version. Where once our “best behaviour” was reserved for those rare family gatherings, remember your mother giving you and your siblings the pep talk in the car before entering such a gathering “Now you lot better be on your best behaviour in here or you’ll taste the back of my hand”, no? It must have just been my family’s kind of pep talk!
But the point being, we now see only a snippet and a well groomed version of everyone. It is rare to see a persons real life published freely for those to see. There is a scary trend amongst the youth of today, it is called “Being Insta Ready”. Yup, it is a real thing. One must now, prepare oneself for the day ahead in the event that one is to post on Instagram! I must be getting old, because that seems bonkers to me.
I am here to tell you that being normal IS OK!!
It is ok to not apply makeup everyday, it is ok to mutter “oh for fucks sake” when your partner, kids, friends, colleagues are pissing you off. We don’t have to filter our lives day in and day out. Sure, be kind wherever and whenever possible but trying to be picture perfect, trying to keep up with your neighbours and friends, trying to out perform yourself at every turn is STRESSING YOU OUT!
Please just stop it!
Before the modern age developed into the technology driven fast pace environment we live in now, there were fewer stressors in our daily lives. Yes, being hunted by predators (not the alien kind) was part and parcel of life back then but if you were to be hunted and chased the stress of it was pretty short lived and our ancestors would have a quick adrenaline spike, they would fight or flight and then return to a pretty chilled out state of being. In todays, world we encounter stressors moment to moment, you get up, check your phone and find a shitty text, email, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram post, you immediately get a stress response. You rush to get your kids to school and one or all of them are being “difficult” (we refer to these “difficult” moments as “pitching a shit fit” in our house), this stresses you out. You drive to work or wherever and encounter dopey ass drivers or a traffic jam, you stress out further, your work stresses you, you’re still receiving shitty emails, text messages and you are still reading and re-reading social media posts that give you a blood pressure problem. Then you sit-down at the end of the day, a day of constant adrenaline highs and you collapse into a heap with thoughts of “I ate like an asshole today because I was so stressed out”, these thoughts turn to “I must eat better, I am fat, I am lazy, I am not enough”.
When I said JUST STOP IT earlier, I mean it. There are so many things in your daily life that do not need to stress you out and this constant state of elevated adrenaline and cortisol is ruining your health, it is shortening your lifespan and ultimately the reason you may be experiencing health issues, gut problems and poor sleep.
Things to cut out:
Checking social media and your phone in general upon waking and during the day. Remove apps from you phone that tempt you to look. You only harm yourself.
Be early. Get up a little earlier, leave home earlier, start a project earlier to finish earlier. Giving yourself a little bit of extra time is a magical thing, you find yourself feeling much calmer when you are not in constant rush or feeling of being on the back foot, which creates a feeling of stress.
Plan ahead. Walk through your day tomorrow in your head before your settle down for the night. Consider timings and jobs/tasks that need to be sorted, write them down. Failing to plan = Planning to fail.
Acknowledge that you will encounter ASSHOLES. It is a sad fact but a fact all the same, we are surrounded by people who will annoy us and guess what? You too, as am I, are an ASSHOLE. Someone you encounter today will find you and me annoying as fuck. It is life and it is solely on you to remember and tell yourself, that someone else’s actions only affect you and your stress levels if you let it. So in the words of Queen Elsa “let it go, let it go”.
Don’t fall victim to these stressors daily. Don’t try to be picture perfect. Be yourself, your normal fucked up self, protect your health by being authentic and real. Stressing about these things will ultimate kill you and the life you are living between now and death will be a miserable one.
I’m a true believer in Ratio Stacking. I believe that if you simply act out more positive behaviours/actions in your day than negative behaviours/actions, means you’ve won. What have you won exactly? Well that part is up to you.
Say your task is to lose weight. Daily behaviours that give you a daily win towards that goal would be, drinking plenty of water to remain hydrated, eating enough vegetables and fruits for micronutrients and fibre intake; exercising for 30 minutes, consuming enough protein to give your body the building blocks to run efficiently, consuming great quality fats to help your hormones be balanced, help your energy and mental clarity. These actions stack the odds in your favour. If you perform as many of these as possible each day you leave little room for negative actions, but we ALL do daily actions that we deem to be negative when we have a task to achieve. But you know what? We ALL DO and that is ok. It is your viewpoint that matters.
If most of the time the positive outweighs the negative then you have won. Because each daily win of these ratios, stacks the ratio of wins up for the week, then the month and then the quarter and then the year and ultimately your lifetime.
It is about looking at situations as a whole, as opposed to looking at a segment with a microscope. An example of this would be, my husband travels for work. When he travels, my routine gets a little messy and I am very routine driven, it also means that the dynamics in the family and household shift a little. I could view this as “my husband travels too much and I can’t stick to a routine, so therefore it is a disaster for me and this is why I can’t achieve XYZ”. Or I could take a step back, pause for a moment and apply the ratio in a more accurate way. “On average my husband is away 5 nights a month, this is 60 nights per year, so he is home 305 nights per year or away 16.4% and home 83.6%”.
When you look at this situation under a microscope and only focus on the nights away then it is easy to get caught up in the disruption to routine, the workload increase and dynamic shift from a negative viewpoint (by the way there is an upside to this in my opinion, frittata with all the mushrooms for dinner, the bed to myself, a cleaner house and best of all mummy & daughter time, plus I am one of those personalities that needs space and time to myself).
When you view the situation as a broader picture then it is only 16.4% of the time, those ratios are stacked sky high in my favour.
The same could be said for judging your body. How many of you look in the mirror or at a photo and your eye zooms in on what you deem as your negative attributes? Ahhhh I hate my [Insert your negative judgements], so therefore I am [Insert your sweeping negative statement]. Interestingly I once did a ratio of positive things and negative things about myself going head to toe. I was actually shocked by my ratio outcome and at my personal viewpoint about myself. The negatives were, pimples on my chin and jawline, cellulite on the backs of my legs and butt, stretch marks on my hips and thighs and about 10% too much body fat all over. The positive things, were fine hair but a tonne of it, great skin tone on the rest of my face, straight teeth, plus a load of other things about my face, lean and strong upper body, strong athletic physique in general, plus a lot of other great attributes that would take too long to list. When I tallied all of this up, I became aware that I only actually disliked 3-4% of my body, so I could focus on that 3-4% or I could focus on the 96-97% that I liked and found positive about myself.
It all comes down to prospective and ratios! I’m not saying be a positive quote touting hippie (although I am a bit of a hippie, to a degree), I am actually encouraging you to be pragmatic, logical and more sensible when it comes to looking all aspects of your life, your viewpoints and consider how to stack the ratios in your favour.
Thank you for reading!
PS: I have just proof read this and noticed that I haven’t sworn…..Fuck yeah!
How many “new diets” have you tried? Only to return to your current eating plans.
You don’t need a new diet, you already have a diet. Your personal diet/style of eating is something that is ingrained in you, it is sometimes a result of your religious beliefs, your upbringing, your likes and dislikes. You eat this way because it often fits with your schedule, your desired eating times and patterns. If you have eaten this way your whole life and then you get yourself a shiny new diet, chances are you will gravitate back to your “real life” diet.
I am asked a lot for a “meal plan” or a “diet overhaul”. I do NOT “do” meal plans or diet overhauls, because I do NOT believe setting up my clients for disaster and failure. Instead, together we tinker and hone your current diet, why? Because your personal eating style is part of you, it is part of your identity and here at KKFitMachines we do NOT believe in the one size fits all approach.
Instead of hating on your body and thinking I need a shiny new diet to “fix” me, I challenge you to pause for thought, for just a moment. How about just making a small and maintainable change to your diet each month for a year? I promise you that in one years time you will change your body permanently for the better, instead of starting a new diet, failing and going back to the start, then starting another new diet, failing and going back to the start, so on and so on, until in one years time you are no better off, sometimes worse off, majorly frustrated and poorer for it too!
Change doesn’t need to be drastic to bring about the big results you crave.